Lost
by DealingDearie
Summary: Severus sees Lily and never wants to wake.


It was a place of silver light, wispy tendrils of clouded air curling and reaching out to him in the dim lighting, tinkling, echoing laughter floating all around him. His dark eyes caught the quick, flitting movement of something amidst the fog, and Severus took a cautious step forward, all too wary as the laughter rang loud in his ears.

_Familiar_, and achingly so, flooding his senses with old, faded memories that never failed to hurt him somewhere deep inside. Soft footfalls got closer, and he saw the fluttering of the air as something sped past it, and he turned, hearing something behind him, again glimpsing something vibrant before it vanished from sight.

The robes wrapped around him failed to warm his chilled body, and they failed to intimidate whoever was near him as he turned back around to see, distantly, a figure standing far into the mist as the tendrils snaked over her, a blue dress hugging her body and flowing behind her as she darted away again, the red strands of her hair trailing after.

The name died on his tongue, and his throat felt tight, his eyes burning from the tears relentlessly pricking them, and he felt weakened, just like his knees would turn to nothing before he crumbled to the ground, but he remained steady, watching the woman before him weave in and out of the fog, twirling in her favorite house slippers and smiling in that excited, happy way that had managed to steal the breath from his lungs for so many years.

Momentarily, he found her form again, her arms spread out beside her as she spun on her heel, the skirt of her dress puffing around her as her hair whipped about, her smile ever-present and bright, her laughter sending shivers coursing through his body. He tracked her every movement, tracing the way the light touched her pale skin, following the hypnotic motion of her feet upon the floor as she sidled closer to him, playful and teasing, just like she used to be so long ago, in that carefree moment living preserved in his oldest memories.

The breath hitched in his throat as she finally stood before him, stilled by his presence as her grin widened, and he felt his heart flutter in his chest, helpless and longing and grief stricken.

_Lily_, he thought briefly, astounded, wanting so much to reach out and slip his hand in hers, yearning for that familiar touch he'd not felt in ages, wishing for all he was worth that he would wake and see those exact same eyes that were staring at him now, vivid and mesmerizing and so very alive.

Slowly, even reluctantly, Severus stretched out a seeking, trembling hand, worried that if he touched her, she'd vanish, worried that if he let himself believe she was real, he'd wake in his cursed room in that cursed school with his own cursed soul, and the sorrow would overpower him. But it always did, and so the wizard performed perhaps the bravest act in all of his life-he touched Lily Evans' hand, and was ultimately surprised when her knuckles, so smooth and warm and soft, didn't dissipate beneath the pressure of his fingertips, and he glanced at her, into those _eyes._

The skin around them wrinkled as she laughed, freely and lightly, and he felt that same feeling overtake his stomach, spreading through his veins, just so very similar to the feeling he'd always gotten at the sight of her smile.

Encouraged by the sweet sound, he slid his fingers over the back of her hand, slipping them between her own, and he thought, suddenly, that he was going to have a heart attack, no doubt brought on by the welcoming, inviting pressure residing in the gentle squeeze she gave his hand. He thought to ask her why she'd been dancing about, but the idea, too, died just as quickly as it had come, and he was lost to the rush of sensation found upon his cheek, where her free hand was running over his pallid skin, and he saw her smile weighed by a slight frown and immediately wanted to apologize.

"Because we never got the chance to," she murmured to him, and if her laugh was music, and if her smile was sunlight, then her voice was his one and only salvation, washing over him in great waves and cocooning him safely and lovingly. He closed his eyes at the feeling, and savored her warm touch against his face, relishing in the comfort found therein, desperately wanting to crush her to him in his embrace but forever hesitant, forever trapped and standing still, forever only grazing shaking fingers against the skin of her hand.

"Severus," Lily whispered sadly, and he opened his eyes at her tone, brow furrowed as if he'd done something wrong, the question already on his lips, "look at me."

He met her gaze, enraptured, and her touch faded from him, just as the flesh beneath his palm vanished, and he was left staring at empty space, the echo of laughter floating around him, the fog so thick in the air that he couldn't have seen her even if she was still standing before him, and his knees gave out from under him, letting him, finally, collapse to the floor, and Severus woke.

As he collected himself, panting and irritated by the sheets sticking to his sweat-slicked skin, his heart still pounding from the sound of her voice, the professor wished so mournfully that he'd never woken from his slumber, and he stood to dress for the day, shaking the feeling from both his mind and body, secretly praying for some kind of end.

**Please R&R! Feedback of any kind is always appreciated! ;)**

**All rights go to their respective owners.**


End file.
